This has to be the most trying moment of my life. 1 John 5:4 – For every child of God defeats this evil world by trusting Christ to give the victory. Have you ever experienced fear so much that you could cut it with a knife? Over the course of this year, I have felt anxiety that would be considered toxic for anyone. On most days, it felt deafening, and all I wanted to do was cry. On other days, I'd pull myself together and try to fix the pieces. I had to ask myself, "Why?" I wasn't like this before! I had moments where I was scared, but never anything like this. I could feel myself drowning in self-pity when I knew that I could be courageous and take a step further, but I remained here... in this dark place. The moments ahead of me were ones where I had to make real choices for my life, and I was afraid of making the wrong choices and of remaining small. I didn't want to miss out on the good things of life and make a mistake that was costly for me, and so I chos...
I started this year with a lot of enthusiasm... I remained expectant for the best. I had plans that I wanted to accomplish, and I wasn't going to miss it. As time went on, things started going off track, and I wasn't having it. I tried all that I could to keep everything in order, but the more I tried, the more I fell apart. I was losing myself and my focus. I was always feeling guilty about things that I did and didn't do. At the end, I broke down. I thought that I just needed to be strong, but I realised that I needed a mind shift, and this shift occurred in the most unique way ever. I had to learn by letting go. Strength wasn't the only thing that mattered to me at this moment, and I realise that now. This write-up isn't to confuse or give you a reason to pity me but to remind you that in moments where you think that all you'll need is your strength and willpower, Abba is calling you to depend on him more. While I had my plans, and of course planning is go...