Struggling With Finding Purpose
Looking For Answers
To find purpose, you must first
understand that a large amount of our being is made up not by our own might,
but by a supreme and higher intellect.
We must first find out what really
and truly makes up the character that is called "Treasure"
(Insert your name if necessary).
Now, a lot of people would say,
"Your purpose is your gift. It's what you do without feeling the need to
quit. It's what keeps you smiling and pushing."
That's only half the story...
The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines purpose as, "the reason why something is done or used; the aim or intention of something."
Any normal human being would
definitely search Google, ask their parents, friends and loved ones but the
fact is that they never really have the answer to these questions.
They can only give you pointers, but
never the right answer.
To find the use of a
thing, you must first ask the producer of that said thing or read the manual...
And that's exactly
what I did!
Reading
The Manual and Facing Fears
So, I really needed answers and I do
not consider myself a normal person and so, the first person I had to ask was
God.
Now, I had been reading my bible,
praying, and basically keeping tabs on where I wanted to be, and what had
really been going on in my life.
One morning, I had woken up, picked
my bible, and just as I opened up the book, the first verse I saw was one I had
seen way too many times...
"Trust in the Lord with all
your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you
do, and he will direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)
A very simple answer right?
Not!
With someone as myself, I'll
probably overexact my brain trying to cook up direct answers fast and in the
best way possible.
I really needed to be sure that
whatever i was doing was "IT", and get down to business fast and be done with it.
You never really enjoy life that way.
I prayed about it, got prepared, and
definitely continued on my journey through confusion (I'm still figuring it
out, even now) and so, I searched Google (yay for success) for books on
purpose.
I do not consider myself a typical
hardcore reader, but I'm learning to read because there are answers that we
cannot find unless we search for them sincerely, and what better way than a
book.
There were a variety of books, but
one of these books stuck to heart.
I won't reveal the title of the book
now because I'm still reading it, but I'll tell you the title of the book when
I'm done.
It stuck to me mainly because it was
a Christian book, and most likely had because I just had this feeling that
Father wanted me to read it and so I began reading.
Told a friend about it, and here we
are.
Time skip a few days later, I'm
literally pouring out my heart to God, and I'm telling him how I feel about
this book and what I'm feeling at that moment (I feel like that's the best way
I can relate with God, by talking to him) and all of a sudden, I don't know
what to say.
I'm out of words and it's not
because I don't have words, but because I can't say again, and that's when I
hear it all back in my mind.
How insensitive I've been with the
word of God and the miracles that have been happening in my life and of how I
can't move forward because I'm afraid.
How I can barely trust God because I
have a fear of uncertainty.
We all fear something in life, but
to find out that you're actually afraid in such a manner brings chills and
makes me want to cry.
And now, I begin to see for myself
that God is walking me through my solution, my answer and that he is preparing
for me a great testimony.
There is nothing that God does not
answer when we ask.
We're either too insensitive to see
the answer or do not have faith.
I'll tell more tomorrow on my
journey through self-discovery.
God loves you😌
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